Happy new year to you!  I’ve updated this article (Jan 2020) with more results from experiments.  Being on the spectrum means that I am extra sensitive to stuff that doesn’t bother many NT’s so I hope you’ll find something here that helps. (Spoiler alert – aromatherapy is one of my special interests. I got my professional diploma back in 2003 and since then shelving space has never been enough)


How does an aspie mom deal with hot flashes at night?

The short answer is: As naturally as possible.


Here is a list of things I’ve tried. I’ll add to it as I test out new options. Sleep is the foundation for a healthy and happy life.

After 3 years of breastfeeding around the clock, then another 12 months several times a day, good sleep became the Holy Grail of happiness.  And if you’ve never been seriously sleep deprived and wanted to chew your arm off in the night to escape for a bit… well I hope you don’t have to go through that in your breastfeeding journey!


I’ve added in new insights from my own personal experience so perhaps book mark this page?? (January 2020)

Until you get to menopause, hot flashes or night sweats feel like distant urban legends.What’s all the fuss about you think. And then when they arrive… suddenly all those cartoon images you’ve seen of women standing infront of the open freezer make sense.

General things I use and have tried are:

  • Temperature management (me, the room, the bed)
  • Acupuncture ( to reset internal energies, boost immunity)
  • Food options and supplements
  • Aromatherapy and Herbs
  • Inner Work – Acceptance, Surrender, Mindfullness
  • Specific Yoga techniques before bedtime
  • Working on my ‘inner life’

In this article I will reveal what I am using to go through my perimenopause in the hope that you will find some ideas that help you.

How to stay cool and sleep better during menopause

  • Layers of blankets vs one thick duvet
  • Open window, even a tiny crack.
  • Keep the bedroom cool.
  • Cooling down slowly to stop body overcompensating by making more heat.
  • Use a rosewater based facial tonic for emotional and physical support.
  • Sleeping naked (new for me!) or in loose cotton pj’s (M&S do some specifically for menopause)
  • Balanced diet that agrees with my ancestral DNA
  • Vitamins B, C, E and fatty acids, best from fresh whole foods
  • Regular exercise. Specific bedtime exercises.
  • Reducing alchocol, caffeine, sugar, spicy foods, dairy products, red meat and processed foods.
  • Mindfullness, breathwork and acceptance.
  • Find out what foods disturb your sleep- potatoes keep me awake! Rice does not. Keep a food diary.


Aromatherapy for hot flashes

One of my favourite ways to cool off at 2am is with a blast of refreshing hydrosol. Sometimes I use Drench. Aromatic hydrosols can be sprayed undiluted onto your face, neck and chest at any time of the day or night.

My favourite hydrosols for perimenopause are rose, rose geranium, clary sage, lavender, chamomile, mint and sandalwood.  Extra bonus – they contain components that nourish your skin’s microbiome. We use geranium hydrosol (along with 24 carat Gold) in our delicate Jardin de Fleurs cleanser.

If you buy herbalist grade hydrosol, they can be added to drinking water. A tablespoon per litre. Rosewater is yummy diluted this way. If you use Bach Flower remedies add them too.

Essential oils that help rebalance hormones include clary sage, vitex agnus castus and geranium.  These are diluted into a gel, cream, bath oil or massage blend. See my safety instructions for essential oils.

Avoid artifical scents, synthetic fragrances eg scented laundry liquids, dryer sheets, those weird scented candles. Those are toxic and overload your system.

Switch to the new water-based dry cleaning option and use non-toxic paints when you decorate.

Book an aromatherapy massage or organic facial. The healing power of touch is amplified when you give yourself some me-time away from the bustle of living. You can also give your body a mini massage yourself – of course it’s much nicer when somebody else does it for you!



Food, Supplements  & Complementary Medicine During Perimenopause

You might not know that foods have an energetic component. They heat or cool the body. Cooking methods also affect your body’s sensitive electromagnetic structure.Roasting meat heats it more than stewing it. Microwaving brings a cooling energy. (I dont use a microwave) Freezing foods, brings a cold energy eg ice cream.

Your Ayurvedic body type affect what foods you eat and how you should cook them. Eating locally sourced seasonal foods is important too. Cucumber is immensely cooling although hard on a Vata constitution in winter so I’m waiting for Spring/Summer to eat that again.

There are superfoods rich in minerals, trace elements, essential fatty acids. Seaweeds, maca, rhodoila, berries, fruit powders rich in VItamin C. Book a kineseology appointment to find out what you should avoid/take. Some kineseologists check which crystals, Bach Flowers, essential oils, vitamins, homeopathics, Tissue Salts etc your body needs.

I’ve noticed that eating a protein heavy meal at night brings on heat and broken sleep. Lamb especially, even eaten at midday.

Mint tea after my evening meal helps. The Pukka version with licorice is delightful.

My acupuncturist reminds me to keep the digestive fire going, with ginger tea. Even though we get hot, we still need to keep our digestive fire (agni) strong. Certain spices help a meal digest eg cardamom, ginger, coriander, black pepper.

Caffeine (CHOCOLATE, TEA, COFFEE, yeah the yummy things) brings on sweating. Make notes of what you eat and drink in a day and how your night went. You might see that your capacity is 2 cups of tea or coffee.. or that any caffeine after 4pm keeps you awake and restless. Make notes. Pay attention to the moon too. Around full or new moon, caffeine might effect you more. Sometimes a chocolate craving is due to a magnesium deficiency or shortage of omega threes.

White spots on your nails – zinc deficiency. Zinc is also connected to strong immunity and fertility. Think pumpkin seeds.

Long hot baths just before bed…these can get you sweatier than you need be. Magnesium in Epsom Salt baths is very healing but does bring on extra sweat, so be aware and be sure to hydrate with enough water before bed.

Pumpkin seeds – new article praising their benefits in the run up to Halloween says ‘The phytoestrogen compounds present, secoisol­ariciresinol and laricire­sinol, can prevent hyperlip­idemia and osteoporosis’. Well they’re pretty handy to have in your handbag or desk.


Watch this YouTube video about food and sleep!

Creating a sleep santuary

Make your bed as comfortable as possible. Orthopaedic pillows to support your spine. Blackout curtains. Earplugs if you’re noise sensitive.removing electronic devices, TV, phones..

Keep your bedroom well aired. Not too hot not too cold. A small gap of fresh air but not a draught onto your shoulders.

Synthetic duvets or linen, even poly- cotton duvet covers might bring on sweating. Have a separate duvet for your partner. Cotton, merino, bamboo or other natural bedding. Have layers/options available. When the weather changes rapidly, it can be annoying to keep up with duvet/layer planning.

Turning the pillow during the night. Switching pillowcases daily. (One friend puts her pillowcase into the freezer before bedtime!)

A glass of water next to the bed. Drink plain water before bed and on waking. For extra help, get your water ‘energised’ so that is more hydrating. Sounds woo-woo but it helps!

Soft and loose bamboo or cashmere socks for bed. A hot water bottle for feet when it’s chilly.  Why our feet feel Arctic-like while our chest area is tropical and sweaty? But cold feet are impossible to fall asleep with!

A lavender infused night cream to calm at bedtime, think Proposal in Paris.

Stick to a regular routine 7 days a week.

Journalling in the evening. If you’re planning your next day, do this earlier in the day. Evenings are for winding down.

Switching off blue lights two hours before so that you don’t disrupt your melatonin.

Reading a novel before bed. If it’s electronic be sure that the blue light on it, is dimmed.

Lavender oil. Chamomile tea. Gentle music. Some gentle yoga (see below) Calming thoughts. Prayer, gratitude.

Taping your mouth at night so that you breathe through your nose. This also helps reduce incidences of sore throat. I use a wide Micropore tape from Amazon.  Remember to fold one edge over slightly for easy removal, eg when you need a sip of cold water.  A thin layer of Samba on your lips is nice before doing this. Samba also has essential oils that are very calming. Or use another gentle balm.


Yoga for the Menopause

There are particular yoga poses that help with cooling the body, calming the mind. Easy to do before bed. Any strenous exercise is best done in the morning or afternoon.

A simple 5 minute yoga wind-down routine can help.

  • Legs up the wall is easy and relaxing
  • Child pose – very easy to do. The knees apart  version is more comfortable.

Speak to your yoga teacher for more ideas.

Acupuncture through Menopause

There is no standard treatment for Menopause because menopause is not an illness. Every woman is different in her experience.

Each session you will have your pulses checked. It’s amazing feeling energies moving and shifting. TCM sees the interconnected energies flowing in your body. Your body is treated with respect as an intelligent force not an un-cooperative robot.


Herbs for menopause and reducing hot flashes

The obvious – chamomile tea.  The flavour grows on you if you’ve decided it’s not tasty. Persist with it. Chamomile tea is also useful when you’ve got the flu so it’s worth keeping it in stock. and managing to overcome the distaste to the flavour. Soem people mix it with Rooibos – Roioibos is also caffeine free, so suitable for night time, pregnancy, lactation and kids.

Sage extract from Dr Vogel – because of the ethanol I add it to boiling water to allow the alcohol to evaporate. It helps. The biggest thing is rememering to make it early enough in the day so it’s cooled down. Have experimented adding it to my morning tea. Not too much to change the taste of the tea.

Sage teabags – the flavour is mild. Seemed helpful. Staff in the health store insisted that sage tincture would be more powerful.  And I’ve got both now.  I’m using Floradix organic teabags from the health store. The flavour is good not pungent. If you can handle the flavour of chamomile or rooibos tea, you should be ok with the sage flavour too.

I’ve also used loose herbs from Neal’s Yard – passionflower, lime flower, skullcap, valerian, oatstraw, lavender bud.   Lots of sleepy time blends available as teabags in your natural wholefoods store.

What has been helpful for the night sweating/heat is Black Cohosh tincture. I took it for a while, then stopped. Then recently found it lurking in the grocery cupboard, only a small amount left – tried it for a few days and noticed it was helping. I’d run out of the Sage tincture…

My suggestion with tinctures is to buy a small amount and see… and only if it’s helping you buy a larger size.

My tip with taking tinctures is to add them to boiling water, to allow the alcohol content to evaporate.  (Whether ALL the alcohol evaporates I don’t know! ) If you are not allowed to use alcohol for religious or personal reasons then try an alternative form – capsules or glycerites or infusions.


Menopause: What Doctors Don’t Tell You by Lynne McTaggart

Your attitude ( a tip from my coach)  Resisting the change, only makes it worse. What you resist, persists.

Start to learn acceptance. (A tip from my yoga teacher and acupuncturist)

Perhaps you are drawn to Tai Chi or Mindfulness. Its a stage in our lives where we get to choose how the second half of our life will unfold.



Our hormones are changing, again. Puberty. Pregnancy. Lacation.

Remember what works this month, might not work next year. Be flexible. Menopause is an emotional time. It will pass.

I’m an aromatherapist not a doctor. This advice is for information only and should not replace medical care. Please check with your GP before trying any remedies. If you are depressed, speak to your doctor.

And of course, skin changes during this time. It’s important to switch to gentle yet hydrating options that have been designed for women approaching and then going through’ the change’.


Updated – October 2019


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